Fathers' day (Inculcating values in Children)

Value to Children

At the outset I thank the school for giving me an opportunity to talk about the values we try to inculcate in our children and the philosophy we follow for our parenting.

I would first let you know our understanding of values followed by how these values can be imparted to our little jewels. We know that children of today will be at the centre stage, as they grow up, in determining social, cultural, scientific and technological upliftment of the country. This will require them to be a responsible citizen of the country with mental and emotional maturity to deal with the difficulties and setbacks they might face in their life. This requires a true philosophical and spiritual basis too. Therefore, parenting is to create a strong foundation of ethical and moral principles in the childhood so that they can build upon these values, as they grow, to become a matured (mental, emotional and analytical) and responsible human being.

If parents don’t accept this responsibility, then the void may be filled by negative forces that do not support healthy morals and ethics for our families and society.

At tender age of up to around 10-12 years, there are basically two learning centres (School and home). The school and teachers do their best to impart such values, knowledge and discipline.

But, what about home? Children emulate their parents, particularly in imbibing moral values. However, their intelligence, likings, interests may differ. Therefore, we have to ensure that we personally have all those values that we want to inculcate in our children (i.e. LEAD BY EXAMPLE). If we want our children to grow up to be respectful, compassionate and honest, we need to first strive for these qualities within ourselves. The children should not witness a contradiction between school teaching and the values exemplified at home. Our lessons can quickly be forgotten if our children watch us contradict what we try to teach.     

It is therefore an imperative for parents to strive for developing values in themselves before they educate or expect such value inculcation in their children. 

Values we need to impart to our children through our examples: (WE DON’T DO TO OTHERS WHAT WE DON’T WANT FOR US)

1)      Courtesy and respect: Do not respect people based only on power, money and muscle power (This has become a norm today). Respect people as human beings, whatever economic or social strata they belong to. Respect women (their individuality, identity, emotions) and make your wife and daughters equal partners in family decisions. See how we treat our domestic help and people around us. 

2)  Honesty: Be honest in your deeds and let it reflect in your actions. Listen to children and applaud them for telling the truth. Yelling at children make them fearful and then they start telling lies.

3)   Puctuality and dependability: Practice punctuality and keep promises. If you are not able to do that sometimes, this needs to be with due permission from or persuasion of the concerned person (i.e. children) well within time.

4)  Responsibility: Responsible adults make their children responsible. Take responsibility for both the good and bad actions you do. This helps your children learn not to blame others for things they have done wrong. Make your children to do house chores e.g. cleaning, helping parents in kitchen, making their beds, ironing their clothes, helping elderly family members etc. Allow them enjoy independence as per their age and take decisions on their own.

5)    Let them make their own path: Parents are not for making children’s life easier or luxurious. Their job is not to be in front and give their children a smooth path. They are expected to equip their children with all the tools necessary so that they can make their own path smooth. Love your children (show emotions and provide) but only to the extent that your love does not spoil them.  

6)   Hobby: Make them develop a reading habit and befriend with books. You too have to have this habit. Do not restrict only with physics, chemistry, mathematics, biology and commerce. Make them read history, literature, sociology, classic children’s novels, philosophical discourses and religious books too. Allow them enough time for outdoor games for their physical fitness.   

7)      Engagement: Spend quality time with children through outdoor or indoor activities, teaching lessons, talking about values, talking about family decisions and their bases, cooking together, reading stories and discussing, watching television together, so on and so forth.

After making all the efforts and fulfilling our responsibilities, we have to leave other things on what God has in store for all of us.

- Speech for children at a school function